DOUBLE STANDARD

A double standard: a rule or principle which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups.

Of course men have had an unfair advantage over the years and even at present. Voting, higher pay, larger number of permissible sex partners, etc. I find it brilliant that women have pushed themselves to the front line of the limelight. We must continue in that light.
I am a firm believer in respect for women. We are not all sex symbols, looking for a man to suit our needs or expecting a male shoulder to cry on. We are not the weakest link in the office and we don’t all need 5 hours in the salon. But that does not mean that we have all men figured out either. That does not bridge the gap in our fundamental differences and that does not make it’s OK for us to shove some idea of female supremacy down a man’s throat.

STANDARDS: THE DOUBLE STANDARDS:
men need to let us earn the same X men need to pick up the tabs after eating out
men need to stop objectifying women X all men are dogs, think with their balls
I don’t depend on any man X Men need to stand up for women to sit, open the door and carry the shopping bags.

The truth is we are not equal or unequal, we are just not the same: There is no one running things without the other and there is no hypothetical scale that will provide a real measurement of supremacy for us. Women deserve respect, love and care as much as the next guy. Men deserve a stroke on their God given ego every once in a while. (Please don’t argue about the ego…no boob carrier has that much testosterone in their system).
Don’t objectify women or men. But feel free to call someone what they are: A lazy, selfish man is just that… not the entire male population. A gold digging ***** is just that…“her” not the entire female population.
Ps: in your quest to be an equal (or equally opportuned) try not to subdue men, ridicule their ego or make generalizations about who they are and what gets them going.
But do not stop fighting for what you deserve.


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THE RIPPLE ENCOUNTER!!!

Definition:A ripple effect is a situation where, like the ever expanding ripples across water when  an object is dropped into it, an effect from an initial state can be followed outwards incrementally.

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During one of our night preps in secondary school (reading in the class room from 7 to 9 pm), I sat at my usual window seat. There was a twisted wire on my desk, just a short wire about 15 cm long but twisted to look like a snake. I threw it to my friend who sat in front of me, no I did not tell her I was throwing a wire to her, but I did not think of scaring her either, it was more like a “who brings this to class?” gesture, and honestly she wasn’t scared. A minute later there was utter chaos in class, everyone ran out of the class and I joined in, a senior came and told us all to calm down, we did. after some minutes we were sent back into the class. Then I asked someone, what just happened?. she said; “someone screamed “snake!” and we all got crazy and ran out, but when senior Judith looked, she saw only a wire , I think the girl found it on her desk”

I hissed and kept trying my hands on the simple maths which I was incredibly failing. After about 30 minutes it hit me…………THE WIRE I THREW AT PAULA!!!!.

Paula who was full of mischief (much like myself) , flung the wire to someone else, It kept flying, but people are different , along the way it landed on the desk of someone who had a big imagination…..Hence the chaos.

This story shows: The ripple is “cause and greater effect”.The ripple effect is as likely to happen as a sunset in the evening. While there is little guarantee that the outcome of your actions will affect you in an obvious way,it will surely lead to a series of events, fortunate of unfortunate. Note that ripples are never the same size..the one after each one is usually bigger.

For instance:
saying a kind word to someone does not guarantee that u will receive one in return, however there is definitely a series of outcomes that can arise from that kind word, perhaps you may have put someone in a good mood, which means they smile at someone who feels down, which means that person who feels down starts to appreciate themselves (albeit for a day) and so on and so forth.(you may have prevented suicide)

A small lie does not guaranty that you will be caught, but you will surely work hard to back it up. I’ve seen people steal to back up a lie, I’ve seen people tell 10 more lies to back up a lie, and I’ve also seen the ripple the lie sends out in other peoples lives.People taking wrong decisions because they are misinformed by a silly lie.etc.

When you want to do something that is significant (or not) think of the fact that you are releasing a flow. YES YOU ARE! if you lit one candle with the last matches in the room, and allowed someone light theirs from yours, the light will keep spreading as other people share the fire, but its not only the domino view of the light spreading that happens. The room also get’s brighter with each extra lit candle.The next ripple is more than the initial one, so send out good ripples, don’t worry about where they end up. just set a good energy sailing.


2013 showed up

I wasn’t ready to let go but you had been through for days

After the confetti fell you said your goodbyes for good

We did mingle in so many wrong and right ways

I wanted to hold on to the tiny moments to ensure there was no waste

To feed off the glories in you but they were stale to the taste

You broke me

Taught me so much

And retired me

You moved on and so will I

I did not get it all right with you

So what?

I did not squeeze every pleasure out of you

So freaking what?

Listen 2012, I burnt all the pages with the bad art

I erased all the mistakes I made with you

2013 came and gave me a chance

I know he’s not here for long but he showed up

He came to help me fix what I lost in you

And I will stay on top

Everything is now in view.

I may not still get it all right this time

But I’ll be damned if I stop tryingImage


a FLAW is a beautiful thing.

Do you have all the answers?……………….If you don’t then you have weaknesses and they are not for the sole purpose of embarrassing and “De-repping” you.  lol.

Weaknesses are  beautiful things, if you understand them and tailor your energy to complement them, then you’ll just be another achiever on the block. I do not have all the answers, but we have not failed because we have flaws, we have failed because we have ignored the flaws and said  “that’s just how I am”. We have to embrace change as a  factor that helps us grow and also comes from our growth.

I have figured out only two things so far and would honestly want to know what you have figured out as well; Something that can bring positive change to our lives. (write in the comment box)

1, It is your duty to research,not the internet now, yourself, take sometime out every once in a while to think. write your mistakes, know why you made them. trust me if you don’t know why you keep doing something wrong you’ll never know how to stop it. why do i hit my friends on the head? why do I beat my younger ones with anger? why don’t I ever take correction? why am i always late? why am I gaining  weight? why don’t I work out to keep fit? why don’t I keep in touch with loved ones? why cant I save money? why is my hair always unsightly? why is my makeup always out of order? ..the questions are endless and they need individual answers.

remember though, reasons are not always excuses. when you find “why” don’t say you have an excuse, its more like ” I keep going late even if I prepare for one hour so I’m gonna add 30 minutes to my preparation time” and not “I keep going late even if I give one hour preparation time, that cannot be my fault”  and this brings me to the next thing I figured out.

2, If an internal factor affects you, take responsibility. don’t look for the enemy, they are not your problem, your job is to find the solution…..make temporary adjustment that become permanent. there are many free lifestyle articles and videos online, you can do everything by watching a you-tube video these days. If you cannot afford a salon, watch how to manage your hair, if you cannot cook then watch and learn, If you cannot save money, then watch and learn, GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND, Google answers questions that would embarrass us if we asked people. I learned how to spell from Google.God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness,2nd Corinthians 12:9, link: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+12%3A9&version=NIV .If we have none then why do we need HIM? change something today, find a weakness and submit it to God, then do your part in finding out what can complement the weakness or remove it totally. Love who you are and all your weaknesses that are there to show how strong you are

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YOU ARE WHAT YO…

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

Honestly I am a shrimp, my big sister is a whitefish fillet and most of my friends are roast plantains. And we all pretend to be human so we can mingle on common grounds.  LOL.  We are technically a product of what we eat, I mean some animals eat what they eat as a result of who they are while others are who they are because of what they eat…ha-ha I lost myself in the last sentence too.

Ever worn something, looked in the mirror and gone, no way I’m being caught dead in that?  Then you obviously knew what your image needed. If your body could talk what will it say?  It will probably say   “see? That’s why my brain power is lower, my energy levels are plummeting and sex is rubbish because I feel weighed down”.

I’m not a guru on this subject but we can always rely on our doctor’s advice, ask your doctor what foods are good for you or go on Google and find out. Don’t throw everything into the body I mean we are guilty of eating thing just because they were produced but you should remember the capitalists that produced them never had our health in mind. In other words, eat natural as much as possible.

The problem is there are too many people telling you what to eat and what not to eat, I mean people telling you the ideal weight you should have and telling you everything but what you can deal with. My mind cannot even process the ideas sometimes that dieticians want you to follow, sadly enough they work, and if you feel like you need quick help then it’s not going to be easy and you may need one of those complicated but effective diets.

The best advice I’ve seen so far is; choose your food with the love for yourself in mind. Your blood pressure, sugar levels and heart beat are all depending on your choices. Do vegetables, moderate fruits because of the sugar in them, drink water like u need to rinse out you internal drainer, use only enough salt to taste, spare the oil frequently, alternate between sea food and meat,  avoid many artificial seasonings, reduce your bear intake .ha-ha .

We all eat to satisfy taste so just try going healthy when you can, don’t worry about failing to eat healthy, it’s not an exam so you only do it when you absolutely want to. Love your body and your curves and package them in very nice outfits. Eat a mix of what you love and what you need so you always have a balance.  Enjoy  🙂


TAKING YOURSELF SERIOUSLY/LAUGHING AT YOUSELF BEFORE OTHERS DO

This may sound like a joke to most people, I mean, we hear about taking jobs, education, relationships and even grooming seriously, but no one ever really tells us how to take ourselves seriously. You also have to laugh at your faults before other people do. Don’t  pretend like a problem does not exist when it clearly does, but then again don’t wallow in it, laugh about it, remember nothing is new on the face of the earth, meaning; your problem has been seen, you can get in your closet, figure out the problem, accept it and deal with it. It’s not easy but if you are trying, there will be a difference.

A huge bunch of us (author included) give the excuse:  “that’s just how I am” instead of trying to improve themselves.  One way or another, some faults cause us to worry and we wish people will just accept them and that is CORRECT. People should accept you for who you are; Beautiful, bold and whatever good cliché you can add to this sentence. The question is, have you ever sat down for a second and said, “I’m rude or shady or dirty, or stingy or noisy or idle and I’m going to do something about it”? That’s an example of taking yourself seriously enough to see where things are wrong. I once heard a famous saying…   “Create yourself consciously”. That is what we all need to do.

Honestly, think about it, if you were working on a project that just wouldn’t spring up, the first thing you would do is to find where it’s loose and fix it. You are taking that project seriously because you love it or because it will put food on the table. Take yourself seriously because you love yourself….funny thing is if you don’t, no one will.

Here are a few tips:

Respect yourself: think before you act

Mind as much of your business as possible. Seriously, who else will?

Don’t stand for what you don’t want in you life

Change for the better…only GOD needs not change

Be content and work with what you have to make the best of it

Be proactive

learn to “will” more than you “feel”

Listen to every opinion , select what you will

Keep you problems as quiet as possible but work on them viciously

Please comment and add some tips to this list 🙂 .